Have you ever heard the saying,"Patience is a virtue?" Do you roll your eyes every time you hear it? I know a lot of people do, I used to as well.
This is the end of week 3 on this journey of self-employment, and let me tell you, it's harder than I thought it would be. Sure, the stress of the 9-5 no longer lingers over my head, but there is a new concern-money. The enemy tries to come and say, "Are you sure you did the right thing? Nothing is happening!" Doubt tries to settle in my mind and anxiety starts to build up in my chest as tears start to swell in my eyes... Wait, isn't this what I'm publicly denouncing? Am I not constantly encouraging women to rebuke those thoughts and lies the enemy places in your head quickly and to speak to your situation and to trust God? So, why then, is it so hard to practice what I preach? Ah, I see now. This is meant to build me, not break me. If I am to be a true Warrior Queen, then I must win not just a few battles, but many! If I am to proclaim victory over every area in my life, then I must be victorious in every area of my life, constantly!
Now comes the waiting. I have to put it into practice. If anyone has ever told you that trusting God would be easy, they've never done it. It wouldn't be called faith if it were simple, because you can't see faith. Deep calls unto deep. Just like when Peter walked on water in Matthew 14:23-33. After Jesus feed the 5,000 men, He dismissed the disciples to go ahead on the boat and Jesus went to pray. When He was done around 3am, the boat was already a mile off and Jesus walked to the boat. The disciples saw Him coming and were afraid it was a ghost until Jesus told them not to be afraid. Peter told Jesus to call him to Him and Jesus did. Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on water to Jesus, but then he took his eyes off Jesus because he allowed what was happening around him to distract him, and he began to sink. But when Peter cried out for Jesus to save him, Jesus grabbed him by his hand. Then Jesus asked him this: "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
That's just like us isn't it? We ask God to call us to do great things and when we get out of the boat and begin walking on water, we allow our circumstances to distract us from the one thing keeping us alive and then we begin to sink. But even when we take our eyes off Him, He still saves us when we cry out to Him. But He doesn't let us off that easy. "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" It's a valid question! Why ask, if we don't believe He's going to keep us the entire way?
This is where I am currently. He called, I answered, and now I must trust. Even when I don't hear Him. I am learning that my faith is growing, even in the waiting. I have asked many times, "What next God?" and it seems as if I am either not hearing, or He wants me right where I am at this moment. And I have to be okay with that. I cannot take my eyes off of Him, even when the waves of uncertainty are crashing all around me. I must remain still, standing on the water, looking unto the Father, holding on to courage, and growing in my faith!
If you are in a waiting period of your life, take courage Warrior Queen! There is growth of your faith, perseverance, strength, trust, and patience while you wait. And when God releases you to take the next step, you will go forth and conquer!