Does it feel like nothing that you do is every good enough?
I know the feeling. It's like, you when you're trying to do the "winged" look with your eyeliner but one side is always higher, shorter, and thicker than the other! Uh! I just hate that, don't you!?
How about when you're trying to cook a tasty meal while doing laundry and the minute you step away to put a load in the dryer, you catch a whiff of that awful burnt smell, and you realize at that point, "THE CHICKEN!"
You've had that moment too?
What about when put on an amazing outfit with the perfect shoes and you run out the door to get to work and right as you step out the car to go in the building you see a stain smack dab in the middle of your shirt that you can't hide! "Where did that come from?!" Mm hmm.
It happens to the best of us!
What about when he tells you, "You're not good enough" through his actions, or the way he talks to you, or even the way he looks at you? You tried do it the right way but he's never satisfied. Yeah, I've been there too. When it seems like you have to walk on eggshells so you don't set off another argument. When you try to show affection only to get rejected.
That hurts! Not the best way to live.
So, what do you do?
Well, it depends. Each situation and relationship is unique. Only you know yours. Is this something that can be fixed? Are you willing to get down and dirty for this relationship? Is it even worth it? If all else fails, are you ready to leave? These are difficult questions, but they have to be answered. Now, let me be clear. Your circumstances are not going to change because of this post. Please don't hold me to that standard. Only you have that power. Yes, you do! You can make those difficult decisions! I did! And every day, I give God praise that I made the decision to change my situation, and it changed my life.
Was it easy? Of course not. Was is painful and ugly? Absolutely! Was it scary and lonely? Most definitely! Was it worth it and would I do it again? Yes. In a heartbeat! I was in an unhealthy marriage, although it did not start off that way, it ended that way. I made that decision to leave, and I never looked back.
Now, I'm remarried to a man that loves God and treats me like the queen that I am! My children are happy and healthy and they love their life!
Most importantly, I'm happy.
Yes, I said, "Most importantly." Why? Because everything that happens around me begins with me. My children can't truly be happy if I'm not happy. How can I give them what I don't have? A man can't love me if I don't love me, otherwise, how would he even know how to love me if I couldn't tell him. My world would not be thriving if I was dying inside.
Now, I'm not telling you to end a relationship, especially a marriage, just because you guys are arguing and your feelings are hurt. Again, you have to evaluate your relationship and make that determination.
What I want you to know is that you are more valuable than you know. Literally. You probably think that you're not the best looking, you may not be happy with your body or weight, you may even think that you're not good at anything.
Well, Queen, let me adjust your crown.
You are beautiful! You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are unique and no one else can be you but you, so, you might as well be the best at it! Don't you EVER give ANYONE permission to dictate how you feel about you! They are not allowed to have that kind of power over you!
TAKE IT BACK!
You get up from your bed of ashes and wipe your tears! Clean yourself up, and put on some makeup! Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you look today! No matter what anyone else may say to you, NEVER give up that power! A confident woman is equivalent to a lioness on the hunt! She is fierce, unstoppable, deadly and, all at the same time, beautiful!
So, Queen, are you ready to unleash your inner roar?
I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Good. Now, go forth and conquer!
*** If you are in an abusive relationship, you are in danger, GET OUT NOW! That is not a question you have to ask yourself, it is a right to not have to hide a black eye or busted lip or bruises on your body! Please don't be afraid. I know he can be very scary and you're terrified of what might happen if you leave, but if you get help and open up about what is going on, I guarantee that you will find protection and safety. If you need help, here is a website where you can find it.